Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The world that we live in
We live in a world surrounded by two items. Hatred and knowledge. Both ways work the same way . Where those individuals that do not wish to not accept it choose not to. Reason being unknown. We've had 300 years of human conflict. Even in our daily lives we start conflicts over the littlest things like how we spill something on someone on accident not purpose. We are surrounded by hatred. And no one is takinjg action. We continue the way we are our fate is unknown
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I really like this piece. It describes our world and what it's like to live in it. I can tell you like writing about the world and maybe even history! We can relate because I also enjoy writing about that! You had very strong voice in this piece. It seems as though you are saying that you'd like the world to be of little conflict and mostly peaceful. I totally agree! You used great vocabulary and detailed sentences, however you could have revised and fixed some grammar and run-on/ repeating sentences mistakes. Overall, great job though! This piece really stands out!
ReplyDeleteI did this while I was angry so yea i basically put emotion in this one
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